LMFAOing all the way to the bank.

Every day I'm shufflin'. In the morning commute, the afternoon commute, and all other times of the day I have a case of the Party Rock Anthem. When I get home I go to Pandora but unlike the rest of the music playing world, my LMFAO station decides to skip over their biggest hit.

When I finally got sick of I'm in Miami Bitch, I did the inevitable. I went to iTunes.

Big mistake.

I was ready to pay any amount of money until I actually got to the site.  My eyes bulged when I saw the price: $1.29.  Sorry, Mr. Jobs, even I have limits.  Disappointed, I headed over to YouTube.  I thought that seeing a video of Rupert Murdoch getting a foam pie to the face might cheer me up.

I had my epiphany before the site finished loading.  I typed a "p" into the search box; before I could press "a", the first result that came up was "party rock anthem".  Over 122,000,000 views.  Obviously I was a little late to the game.  No matter, I blissfully ignored the pre-video ads, minimized the window, put my hands up to the sound, and lost my mind, knowing that I would no longer be $1.29 poorer. 



For those that missed it, the moral of the story is to skip iTunes, and go directly to YouTube. Also, you can create YouTube playlists.

Jesus Saves and You Can Too!

“Jesus Christ.” 

That’s me thinking out loud when I look at my December credit card statement.  Jesus got off easy, only having to pay for our sins.  I’m not even Christian, yet I’m damned to pay for his birthday every year. 

Well, maybe not.  The actual date of Jesus’ birth is never stated directly in the bible and there is plenty of evidence in the gospels to imply that most likely it isn’t December 25^th at all. 

What a great find!

So, how does this affect me?  By choosing to celebrate Christmas on a more biblically accurate date, say January 2^nd, I can get some heavy discounts.  For example, a live Christmas tree bought in the first two weeks of December will cost anywhere from $50 to $100.  A Christmas tree bought from the curb or sidewalk on December 26^th, will cost anywhere from $0 to $0.  This translates to over $4 to $8 a month.  What a simple, yet elegant way to help pay the mortgage! 

For those of you that need more than a $100 annual savings, I have another round of cost cutting.  Your average Christmas tree ornament costs around $15.  Just the thought of that makes me sick to my stomach.  Your average Christmas tree ornament on December 26^th, however, costs around $5.  That’s still a little more than I’d like to pay, but I know those discounted Star Wars ornaments aren’t lasting for a second round of clearance.  The biggest savings, of course, are on glass ornament balls.  Every year after the 25^th, they’re practically given away, so I try my hardest to load up on as many balls as I can handle.  I especially like the big ones.  

When I can build my Ewok tree village I'll be
living the dream.  Live the dream.

“Balls.”

That’s me thinking out loud again. 

Balls aside, the mother lode of savings is on gifts. When it comes to buying presents, I try hard not to spoil the recipient.  Still, I find that my annual Christmas gift shopping usually comes in at an astounding $100.  My solution is to wait for stores to put their unsold merchandise on clearance.  This works the same way as buying ornaments, but I like to haggle down the prices for returned or damaged box items. 

In order to give these presents to friends and family, I usually need to make up an excuse for why they’re late and somewhat damaged.  “Jesus wasn’t born on December 25^th” isn’t good enough for everyone.  Make sure you remove the clearance stickers, or the recipient will know you’re lying.  You could end up losing a friend, and that means one less gift to buy next Christmas.   

Actually, don’t remove the clearance stickers.